I am Here and I am Mommy!

As I sit here listening to my Callie cough and cough her croupy cough, I am completely exhausted….but so happy that I am here and that I am her mommy.

As I remember what happened last night with Sydney and cleaning up after her getting sick over and over last night….I am so happy that I am here for her and that I am her mommy.

Matt is in Brazil right now, where it is beautiful and sunny.  I am in Holdrege, Nebraska where it is freezing and drizzly….but I am so happy I am here and I get to be a mommy to my two precious girls.

Matt has the opportunity to travel to some pretty cool places for his job.  I am very blessed that I can travel with him if I choose to.  He really wanted me to go on this trip with him.  I kind of regretted not going with him when he left.  I love having that time together with just us and it would be fun to be in a beautiful place right now.  But I just didn’t feel right about me going this time.  I thought I should stay home with the girls.  So, the day after he leaves for Brazil, both girls get sick with different sicknesses!  It was an awful night last night with no sleep at all, but I couldn’t imagine being apart from them when they are both so sick.  As much as I hate cleaning up puke and watching them get sick, I feel so privileged to just be their mom and to be able to be the one that they snuggle with when they are sick.

So, tomorrow’s another day and I am sure that it will mean more cuddling with hot little bodies and eating saltine crackers and jello….but I am so happy that I am here with my babies and that I get to be their mommy!!!

Isaiah 41:10 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I with strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Jesus, thank you for always being with me and encouraging me.  I need your strength and your help.  Thank you for holding me when I need you to!

Nesting!?!?

Is it possible to "nest" when there is not a baby in your belly, but in your heart?!?  For some reason after going to the adoption training last Saturday, that is when this adoption became really real to me. When we came home, I was actually kind of in shock. I could barely even respond to my daughters and their requests. Matt actually told Sydney at one point to stop saying mommy for things....mommy has left the building....just ask daddy for what she wants. :). There was so much going through my head! I was wishing that I could find out more about Emma and know how she is doing. I was also thinking about traveling and how amazingly awesome that will be, but also completely stressful. There is a lot to consider when traveling overseas with three children! And, my mind was also on my house....gotta get a room ready! But first, I need to clean out my closet and order a new wardrobe so Matt can get his clothes out of Emma's new room. So, I cleaned out my closet and got rid of 5 trash bags full of clothes! I have also already cleaned some drawers and stuff in the kitchen. I am mentally thinking everything I want to do before we go get our girl! This house has to be in tip top shape! Lol! The problem is, if I start now, I will have to do it all over again before we go get her since it could be like 6 months still. Nesting for an adoption?!? I think so!!!

Saturday Sweets

In my bible study, we are reading a book called, "Resolution" by Priscilla Shirer. Back in October we heard her speak at a conference and she was amazing and I knew I wanted to read her book. The first chapter is about living in the present and not wishing your life away. (For example, before you are married, saying, "if only I was married then i would be happy" or when you have small children, saying,"when they grow up then I will be able to...") She says that if you are always looking forward to the next stage of your life, then you will miss out on the blessings that God has for you right now. I feel like I really do love my life right now and do love this stage, but I can see that sometimes I can get caught up in the "dailyness" of life (laundry, dishes, more laundry, more dishes) and not appreciate what I have. I think blogging will help me look back at what I have done and appreciate the stage that I am in now even more. I know that I won't be a daily blogger, but I thought I could highlight some of the sweet moments of life.

Sweet #1
Dossier shipping to China!!!! I was so excited when our last piece of paperwork came back on Monday from being authenticated! We sent it overnight to Holt in Oregon and since that completed our dossier, they were able to send it to China on Friday. We started collecting paperwork for this dossier in June, so that tells you how long of a process it has been. Every paper in there has to be notarized, certified by the State of Nebraska, and authenticated by the Secretary of State and Chinese Consulate in Washington DC. I had a lot to learn to figure all that out, but little by little, got it all done. As soon as they told me it shipped, I started getting nervous about it getting to China. That is A LOT of original paperwork that would be devastating if it got lost in shipping. That is when I decided to give it all over to God. Every time I start to worry about it, I say a little prayer about every hand and plane and truck (or whatever) that has to touch that paperwork that it would be able to be delivered safely!

Sweet #2

"Freefridgerfrator".....my new favorite word that Callie says. We got a new refrigerator this week. If you can be in love with an appliance, I think I might be! It is the first "new" refrigerator that Matt and I have had since we have been married. It's so nice to open it up and be able to see everything and not wonder what part of it will fall off next. :) I think my favorite part is watching Callie get her crushed ice from it. She gets a stool, pushes in her cup to get ice with one hand, and blocks the ice from getting in her face with the other hand. It is quite hilarious!

Sweet #3

Seeing Sydney have so much fun with her friend. Sydney has a friend, Laney, that she plays with probably once a week. They like to have play dates that almost always turn into a sleepover, as long as it isn't a school night. That is totally fine with me! It is fun to watch them grow up and scheme to see if they will be able to get away with asking for another play date or something. When Sydney's dear friend, Sofia, moved it was so hard on Sydney (and still is!) So, it has been nice to see her connect with another girl that is so sweet!

Sweet #4

Amy's Chewy Granola Bars. I was reminded of this recipe again this week so I made them. It is a recipe from one of my friends in Minnesota. Her name is Amy Young, but my family lovingly calls her Amy Yum because there are two recipes in particular that we love from her! Actually, I don't know if I love them or hate them. I love them because they are so good and I know all the ingredients that go into them. But, because they are "healthy" I can't stop eating them. Therefore, I also hate them!

Sweet #5

The bible app on my phone. I have an app that has lots of reading plans on it. I started using a chronological condensed plan that I love! My phone reminds me to do it every day at 1:00 (usually Callie's nap time.) Since I have that reminder, I don't have the excuse of forgetting to do my quiet time. And, my phone will even read it out loud to me if I want it to. Technology is amazing!

Crazy Cute Callie

A lot of people don't like the toddler years. Not me! I would say that it is my favorite stage of life. They are so sweet and precious and say the cutest things. Callie is such a fun three year old. Don't get me wrong, she can have an attitude like all the rest, but for the most part, she is so fun and funny! One of my favorite sayings that she uses right now is, "Use your words!" I wonder where she has learned that? She won't accept a head nod or an umm hmm....she wants me to say, "yes, Callie, you can do that." I think she wants to make very sure that she is not going to get in trouble!

Some cute things she has said that I don't want to forget:

When we are driving somewhere, Callie is constantly asking Matt, "Daddy, are we on the road?" As if she doesn't trust his driving!

At the movie theater we were watching all the commercials and Callie said "I wish we had a remote!" We record everything she watches, so she is not used to all those commercials.

Out of the blue one morning, Callie said, "I am pretty again today, daddy. You better get your camera!"

One morning she looked at a magazine that had Halloween stuff in it. I said, "Did you like it?" She said, "No, it gave me a heart attack!"

"I love you better than ice cream!" She said that completely out of the blue and I felt pretty loved considering how much she likes ice cream. :)

Callie: "I am going to get rid of my junk, ok mommy!" Ok, Callie. So, she goes in her room and starts throwing out all the toys she doesn't want anymore into the hallway. I am vacuuming while she is doing this and she says, "Don't mow over my stuff, mommy!"

I really wish I could freeze her in time and keep her at this age. But, I guess I have to let her grow up. So, I will try to appreciate every moment I get with her....every giggle, snuggle, hug, laugh, cute look, and funny quote!

Sweet Sydney

Sydney is growing up fast and I love seeing her grow into an amazing young lady. She surprises me sometimes by what she knows and what she is catching onto.

There are some things that Sydney has said and done over the last couple of weeks that I do not want to forget. For example, today in church, Pastor Paul was talking about how it's sometimes hard to believe that God is hearing our prayers. He said something like, "Sometimes when I am praying, I feel like it stops about right here (holding up his hand) and bounces back down." I honestly didn't think that Sydney was listening to a word he was saying the whole sermon. She definitely had enough to distract her since there was no child care today! But, after he said that, Sydney, without missing a beat said, "Yeah, but God still hears that prayer because God is everywhere!" Wow! She was right! He is everywhere, He does hear our prayers (even if we think He doesn't), He does care! AND she was listening! Yay!

Recently, Sydney experienced something that was heartbreaking for her. There were some sweet little girls playing and the parents were nagging and yelling and getting after them for every little move they made. They honestly were being very good kids, just playing and interacting with each other. But the parents were just annoyed with them. (It probably wasn't anything that the kids actually did, the parents were just stressed with the lives that they have chosen to live.) Anyway, when we were driving away, Sydney said, "Why were their parents so crabby and treated their kids like that? They weren't doing anything wrong!" I agreed with her and said that it was really sad that some kids had to grow up like that. She said, "Wow. I am blessed. I have such great parents!" Another Yay! I know, I know. That attitude won't (and didn't) last long, but it is great when she sees it sometimes!

One more thing that I don't want to forget...Around Christmas time, I have always tried to make a point in involving Sydney in giving to other families in need. When she was really young, we did Operation Christmas Child, last year we bought a bunch of presents for a girl her age that was going to get nothing otherwise. This year time just got away from me. It was a crazy December and before I had time to think about what we were going to do, it was too late to buy gifts for anyone. Then I had an idea. Last October, Matt and I went to an amazing conference in Atlanta, Georgia. We listened to many amazing speakers, but one of them touched my heart so much and I came home and told Sydney her story. The speaker's name was Katie Davis. She is an amazing girl who has given her life to serving Jesus by serving the people of Uganda. You can check her ministry out at amazima.org or read her book called, "Kisses From Katie." I can't recommend that book highly enough!!! Really, truly amazing!!! So, here was my idea for Christmas. Sydney has discovered money lately. She has been saving it up and wants to do extra jobs around the house for a buck or two. (Great for me because she really does a great job or organizing and cleaning, so I am usually very happy to give her a dollar to clean a room!) The only thing about Sydney saving her money is the girl needs nothing, so she can't ever even think of something to spend her money on. So I reminded her of Katie's ministry and said that if she would give some of her money to that ministry, I would match her giving by ten times that amount. I had no idea what Sydney would think of that idea because she really like her money. She likes to count it out and keep track of how much she has. But, I thought it would be nice if I could get her to part with some of it to help others who desperately need it. She had fun asking how much I would have to give if she gave certain amounts. It didn't take her long at all to decide that she wanted to give ALL of her money!! (Much to my surprise!) I let her think about it for a week and she still wanted to give all of her $55.00 (plus our $550.00) to Katie's ministry. It was so exciting for me to see her giving heart and have her realize that we do have so much while others are struggling to have enough to eat.

Our Family

Here we are! This picture was taken in October of 2011. At the time, Sydney was 8, Callie was 2 (almost 3), Matt was 35, and I was 29 and holding (lol).

Going to try it!

Ok. So, I am going to try this blogging thing. I don't know how well I will do, but I really want a way to keep track of things I have learned, things we have done, and the cute things my girls say and do. I decided that if this is just for me and no one else, that is fine. We will see how it goes!